I don't even know where this post will go but I've thought about the LE community all day today. I've thought of our officers, their spouses, their children, the moms and dads, brothers and sisters. I've thought about it from every angle I can humanly imagine. I always wind up at the same destination: I can't say anything that will make it better.
I can say that we have survived painful weeks like this before. I can say that we made it through those moments and continued the fight. But that doesn't really carry much weight because now simply isn't then.
I thought about what keeps me going as a person and mother. I thought about what my husbands needs from me in a wife. He doesn't need to be paralyzed with fear. He doesn't need me to conquered by the state of current affairs. He needs me to listen and he needs me to genuinely hear him while he speaks.
The truth is hard because it's so unpredictable. The truth is that more officers will not return home. We will see more fall. That is the nature of this occupation. Some weeks we will see very little tragedy and then, we will have weeks like this where it feels as if we are drowning.
That's when I think about her. I think about the 4 year old little girl who needs you to save her. I think about him. I think about the 16 year old boy on the side of bridge who needs you to tell him that she isn't worth him taking his own life. I think about my community and how completely broken it would be without you. I think about everyone who doesn't even know they need you.
That's the thing: I know you won't quit. I know you'll suit up again tomorrow. I know you'll find the little girls and the little boys, the terrified moms, and the broken hearted husbands that need you. Even though I'm insanely sad about this week, I know you will not let us down. I have an endless amount of faith in each of you and because of that, you have an endless amount of support in me.
So, please stand tall, fight on, and overcome. We are all in this together.