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It's happened again. Once more a promising young life has been extinguished for no discernible reason. Once again I will spit shine boots, affix ribbons, dust off my service cap and press out my class A uniform so that I can, once again, stand in ranks of other law enforcement officers at a memorial service. Yet again I will struggle to hold back tears as I hear the final call broadcast for a brother in arms, and try to suppress the lump in my throat as his wife, or perhaps his parents, cry out in anguish. I might even succeed at maintaining my bearing.

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There was a time in my life where I had no idea who I was. When I was a child, I believed what my parents believed without challenge. When I was in school, I believed what my teachers told me to be true. As a friend, I've allowed people to speak their perceptions into my life about other people as fact. I've been the sheep before.
 
Even though I am older, I still find myself there from time to time.

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Today, social media will be filled with pictures.  The pictures will consists of plates of stuffing and mashed potatoes.  You'll see images of sisters and brothers who have not seen each other in several months or even years.  You'll see grandparents swooping up their latest addition to their families while spoiling them rotten.  There is always that huge part of you that enjoys seeing the images and then there is a part of you that feels a tinge of jealousy.  

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My dad's job probably doesn't entail the same things that most teenager's dads do for a living. Because my dads a cop. And in 2015-- you don't want to be associated with cops. It took me months and months to even work up the courage to post something like this. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not ashamed of my dad or what he does. Because I know for a fact that he is just and he is kind and he takes care of people. But every day I see something new on Facebook or the news about police brutality or things the police officers did wrong

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I miss my badge.  You see, I never wanted to be a cop.  The joke was on me though because I did an internship and realized I loved it.  A series of events led me to a city I never even wanted to visit and plopped me behind the badge of a department that has had its fair share of blemishes.  More than that, it was chock full of men and women working miracles with little support and few supplies. As my mom pinned my new badge on my chest, it shined with the pride of thousands who’d gone before

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